Here.

I would say that I’m really living two lives. The first is what you see and today it’s very boring as I’m sitting very still looking at a 14″ LCD panel all day long making almost no noise. When my family comes home, that’ll be more outwardly interesting, but it skips the entire reality of what I’m doing while I live that second life inside the machine.

In the upcoming documentary, Almost Real, Ann Shin explores folks living the extreme virtual life, e.g. monks leading prayer and SM folks doing their thing, all over the Internet (in case you need it, my safety word is “yellow” : ). These people are living very real virtual lives, often more real than there normal lives. Is that OK? Is that unnatural? I think it *is* OK. Why should the virtual life inside of our creations be any less valued than our so-called “normal” life (which was just created by the Overlords to test their simulation machine : ).

Anyway, it all boils down to one thing: impact. Are you impacted by the things that happen in the virtual world? I know I am. Sometimes it’s negative and sometimes it’s positive, but it can be just as strong as the impact I feel in my “normal” life. For me, most of my most meaningful impact happens in the “real” world, but as technology advances, I think more and more of that balance will tip, whether that’s OK with you or not.

Here.

My co-author for the 2nd edition of Windows Forms Programming, Michael Weinhardt, doesn’t have enough to do to with the new features in Whidbey or all of the stuff that I wished that I added to the 1st edition but didn’t. No, he wants more, so he asked me to ask you nice folks what you’d like to see.

The goal of the 2/e edition of the book is to cover the features of WinForms Whidbey as well as related .NET features that are important to WinForms programmers. Also, we’d like to continue to encapsulate WinForms community best practices. What did I miss in either of these categories that you’d like to see in the 2/e?

Being from the Midwest (and big and dumb-looking besides), most folks assume I’m a homophobic. As it turns out, I’ve known a few homosexuals in my life, but not very many. Or rather, I suspect that I know a lot more of them then I recognize, but I never think about it. I never think about it because it doesn’t matter.

Real love is rare enough that people should be able to love and live and *marry* whoever the hell they want to and I resent a government that thinks that they get to decide who’s love counts and who’s love doesn’t count (although I do support parents being able to decide whether their minor children should be able to marry).

So, I’m with Robert Scoble on this one: “Homosexual couples should be treated by society the same as heterosexual couples.”

BTW, you can save yourself the trouble of responding if you’re going to say anything other than “+1”, as I won’t be responding to any kind of negative comments on this issue. There is literally nothing you can say to change my mind, so don’t even try.

Here. The one where Microsoft's up-coming Mid-Year Discussion and a late night IM chat with Lutz Roeder makes me introspective.

Tuesday, February 24th, 2004

Don and I have an ongoing debate — whether everyone was put on this planet for one purpose or whether a person gets to choose their path. This all started back in the middle of the bubble where we thought that we were so smart that we could take our success in training and turn our minds to anything we chose. We thought we could be anything, but used to talk most about politics (and Don even promised to get me elected as mayor of Beaverton) and religion (I’d like to get in on the ground floor of one of those “free love” cults : ).

Of course, the bubble burst, giving of us perspective on just what part of the success was us and what part was the go-go economy. Now, most of us that used to have those conversations work at Microsoft as a place to keep doing fun work without traveling to globe trying to keep up our old standards of living. These days Don talks about all of us having a specific place in the world and that he’s pretty darn sure that he’s found his (and you should see the guy; he’s in there, fighting for what he thinks is best for the platform and building quite an impressive reputation base to extend his influence wider and wider). He’s also of a firm mind that I’ve found my place and that I should be a s/w guy of some kind for the rest of my life.

So, I’m of two minds. On the one hand, I’m happy with the spot I’ve carved for myself in the Windows developer community and I think that there are plenty of fun s/w challenges to meet. Plus, my resume helps me get good gigs.

On the other hand, I’m not a big fan of being “predestined” to anything. I don’t like the idea that fate or even my inborn predilections decides what I do and don’t do in my life. I also still think that I’m smart enough and flexible enough that I could start another career. My latest fantasies revolve around moving into a place that my wife could afford on her nurse’s salary while I write novels and spend my afternoons filling the public education gap my kids are experiencing. Previous fantasies include getting my jurist doctor at Harvard and becoming a courtroom prosecutor on my way to being a judge (I always know what’s best for everyone : ). Also, the equities market calls my name and I’ve got a little property investment business on the side that could use more attention. So, I’ve got plenty of things I’d like to dig into before I die that have nothing whatever to do with my background or training. In fact, I’ve got so many other things to try that Lutz was making fun of me just last night, “Haven’t you noticed that everyone in 2004 wants a new career?” Still, should I stick with what’s safe because I may never achieve in other industries what I’ve achieved in this one or should I roll the dice and takes my chances, knowing that life is pretty short to spend it all doing the safe, comfortable thing?

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not going anywhere just yet. I’ve started this Longhorn thing and I’ve got lots more to do there before I’m done. But I do think about hitting the reset button some day and starting over again from scratch. What do you guys think? Have any of you hit the reset button and ended up reading this post? Has anyone tried to escape from this industry only to end up back here and are happy they did? Does anything think that my hubris is going to get me into serious trouble? : )

Discuss

Here.

Well, I can’t put it off any longer. I wanted to wait ’til Chris Tavares and I were able to figure out what the problem was, but after months of help from the Compuware guys using a complementary hunk of their latest and greatest profiling software, we’re no closer to finding out what causes the massive slow-down in compiling Rotor when we add our ref-counting implementation to it. The problem, of course, is that if we can’t figure out what the problem is, we can’t optimize our implementation to fix it.

The good news is that once we wait for the compilation to complete, the hybrid ref-counting (for deterministic resource management) + ref-tracking (for memory management) programming model is a thing of beauty. No longer do you have to write Dispose methods or even call Dispose methods, because our updated JITter takes care of it for you.

However, because compilation of Rotor makes such nice use as a managed test of our implementation and because it currently sucks butt perf-wise, we’re stuck. If you’re into the low-level guts and you’ve got the time (that’s what Chris and I ran out of), we’d love your feedback on our perf problems. Who knows, if we can make it efficient, MS might stick it into the next version of the CLR… (but I don’t work for that team, so don’t hold me to that : ).

BTW, I’d like to really thank Chris Tavares for his implementation work. It was my idea and my funding, but he did all the work up to and including several drafts of the paper. All I did was complain. Thanks, Chris, and I hope you’re enjoying your child, which is a far better way to spend your free time than implementing my cockamamie ideas in Rotor.

BTW2, I’d like to take this opportunity to publicly apologize to Brian Harry. It is definitely the case that ref-counting *can* be added to .NET but I have in no way shown that it *should* be done. Thanks for letting me try, though. : )

<politics>Or rather, that’s the headline I wish I could post. However, instead of CBS and the FCC getting freaked out about the insane amount of severe violence on TV, available to our children any time of the day or night, they’re worried about 3 seconds of breast. Idiots.</politics>

Here. The one where an hour of phone support with my step-mom causes me to feel embarrassed about what we put normal humans through to use our software.