10. WS-IrishSpring: for scented, more pleasing SOAP packets

9. WS-UPS: for sending SOAP packets in real envelopes

8. WS-USPS: for sending SOAP packets that dont need to get there

7. WS-PrisonShower: for picking up the dropped SOAP packets

6. X-Wife: protocol for monetary transfer

5. WS-Insecurity: dating protocol for web services programmers

4. WS-Monopoly: protocol used to keep antitrust penalties to manageable levels

3. NICKLE: for encoding smaller binary attachments

2. SFFCI: Syndication Format for Complete Idiots

1. WS-XXX: bringing a business model to XML, e.g.

<xxx:image xmlns:xxx=“uri://hustler.com/2003/oohlala”>
  <xxx:setting>the storeroom</xxx:setting>
  <xxx:model gender=“female” tattoo=“skull” />
  <xxx:model gender=“male” moustache=“true” />
  <xxx:pose>saucy</xxx:pose>
</xxx:image>

Chris Sells, Jason Whittington, Tim Ewald, Becky Dias & Brian Jepson
Presented at the Applied XML Developer’s Conference West 2003
July 10, 2003

Brad Abrams make Jeffrey Richter and me stand in front our of “software legend” stand-up cut outs yesterday so that he could take a picture. I’ve already gotten crap from my new team at MS for being one of these guys. I assume it’s the shock and awe… : )

Brad Abrams
Tue 4/22/2003 10:09 PM

Here’s the SellsBrothers Beaverton Area Little League team looking very serious. Notice the SellsBrothers logo on the hats. Having your own company definitely has it’s perks. : )

Here’s the SellsBrothers team looking more natural.

Beaverton, OR
Saturday, April 12, 2003

This is a recipe that I sent in for the O’Reilly title “Gastronomy for Geeks”. It was handed down to me by my grandfather at our cabin on the lake. He was into manly food that sticks to your rips and left the more delicate dishes to my grandmother.

Ingredients

• 1 15oz can of cream-style corn
• 1 15oz can of non-cream-style corn (drained)
• 2 cups of crushed saltine crackers (although other crackers and even potato chips work well)
• 3 eggs
• 1 cup of milk (scant)
• 1 tablespoon of butter or margarine

Number of Servings

• 9 normal human servings or
• 3 hungry developer servings

Directions

• Grease 7″ cake pan (or nearest equivalent, Grandpa wasn’t picky)
• Mix cream-style and drained non-cream-style corn together in mixing bowl
• Spread 1/2 of the corn along the bottom of the cake pan
• Spread 1/2 of the crackers over the layer of corn
  Repeat for one more layer of corn and crackers
• Beat eggs and milk together for 2 minutes in a mixing bowl (preferably the corn mixing bowl, which should now be empty, to save on dishes that need washing)
• Put egg/milk mixture over the layers of corn and crackers, using a fork to poke holes in the layers to allow egg/milk mixture to seep into all crevices
• Drop button (or margarine) in dots over the top
• Bake at 350 for one hour or until top is golden brown
• Bake at 200 for 30 more minutes for rustic Grandpa goodness
• Let cool for as long as you can stand to wait, cut into pleasing shapes and serve

Chris Sells
Submitted for O’Reilly’s “Gastronomy for Geeks”
Tue 3/4/2003 8:44 AM

People often ask what is meant by Marketing. Perhaps the following analogies will help clear it up:

• You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, “I’m fantastic in bed.” That’s Direct Marketing.
• You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, “He’s fantastic in bed.” That’s Advertising.
• You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say,” Hi, I’m fantastic in bed.” that’s Telemarketing.
• You’re at a party and see a handsome man. You get up and straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, “May I,” And reach up to straighten his tie brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, “By the way, I’m fantastic in bed.” That’s Public Relations.
• You’re at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, “I hear you’re fantastic in bed.” That’s Brand Recognition.
• You’re at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You talk her into going home with your friend. That’s a Sales Rep.
• Your friend can’t satisfy her so he calls you. That’s Technical Service.
• You’re on your way to a party when you realize that there could be gorgeous women in all the houses you’re passing. So you climb onto the roof of one situated in the middle and shout at the top of your voice, “I’m fantastic in bed!”. That’s Spam.
• You hear about women like this but never meet one. That’s False Advertising.

Created by unknown
Contributed by Asaf Shelly
Thu 2/13/2003 6:50 AM

Chris took the quiz and was pretty darn happy with the results, because at at least he's not Windows ME...

Which OS are You?

Stu Halloway, conference speaker, respected author of Component Development for the Java Platform as well as many 5-day short courses and CTO of DevelopMentor, pronounces his name like this (I found it hard to believe myself…)

Starts on October 21st and runs for several days. Hits home.