August 15, 2001 fun

Conference.NET Song Lyrics

King of the Code

Sung to King of the Road”

Platform for sale or rent
who cares where all the others went
no more pointer, pushes, pops or peaks
I ain’t got no memory leaks
I wrote ten lines of C# today
I was more productive than yesterday
I’m a programmer of mean by no means
I’m a king of the code

I feel sorry for those guys at Sun
DOTNET has got them on the run
But when I hear Scott McNeally whine
I say stick your VM where the Sun don’t shine
Most folks agree VB DOT NET
Is the best version of Java that we’ve seen yet
I’m a programmer of mean by no means
I’m a king of the code

You C guys think all this stuff is new
A friendly runtime that hides the goo
I’m a VB guy, better watch out for me
cause I’ve been writing managed code since 93
Database code’s busted — no time to cry
Patch it all to the newest API
I’m a programmer of mean by no means
I’m a king of the code

New waves they come and go so fast
COM was love, but love don’t last
If COM was love than what’s DOTNET
It’s love without the cigarette
DOTNET will be here till we all get bored
Then we’ll throw it away and invent DOT-ORG
I’m a programmer of mean by no means
I’m a king of the code

Wild Side

Bill G came from Seattle WA
Spread .NET across the USA
Plucked out pointers on the way
Shaved ref counting - started sporting GC
He said Hey babe take a walk on the wild side
Hey babe take a walk on the wild side

Chris Sells never once threw one away
In the end, he had to pay and pay
An object here, and object there
Memory is the place where they say
Hey Chrissie, take a walk on the wild side
I say hey babe, let’s going back home and finalize

And the .NET girls go
Do do do do do do do do do do
do do do do do do do do do
doooooooooooooooo ah
 
The musical stylings of Francesco Balena

Jon Flanders came from out of the heartland
With ASP he’s was everybody’s darling
But he never lost his head
Even when they told him COM was dead
I said hey Jon, take a walk on the wild side
I believe they call it Interop-O-cide

Brian Randell came and hit the streets
Hoping .NET would bring inter-language peace
He hates it when those bigots say
C#’s for work, VBs for play
I say hey Brian, take a walk on the wild side
It’s curly braces that make your code bonafide

My friend Don Box, he’s just coding away
Though he was James Joyce for a day
Yeah I guess Don’s pretty smart
But he mistakes his code for art
I say Hey Don, take a walk on the wild side
You’re just a liquor salesman, it can’t be denied

And the .NET girls go ….

And the .NET girls go
Do do do do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do do do do

Bill G and the Feds

Sung to Bennie and the Jets”

Hey kids - you wanna see a scene-o
Let’s watch Billy Gates get it on with Janet Reno
We’re talking anti-trust now - so stick around
Gonna rack legal bills that know no bound
Hey Joel Kline he’s on the case
Oh man he’s so spaced out
B-B-B-Bill G and the Feds
Billy he’s so silly and litigical
The center of a courtroom scene
He’s got those Harvard roots, class action suits
You know I read it in a magazine - oh yea
B-B-B-Bill G and the Feds

Hey kids, go crank up your browsers
You’re in for nasty weather, gonna make you wet your trousers We’re
gonna stifle competition with such as sense of ease Gonna bring those
bastards from Netscape down to their knees Hey Judge Jackson, have you
heard this case Oh man, his ruling was so spaced out
B-B-B-Bill G and the Feds
Billy he’s so silly and litigical
The center of a courtroom seen
He’s got those Harvard roots, class action suits
You know I read it in a magazine - oh yea
B-B-B-Bill G and the Feds

Bill G, Bill G, Bill G, Bill G and the Feds…
Bill G, Bill G, Bill G, Bill G and the Feds…

DevelopMentor’s Conference.NET
Sung by the .NET Band on the Runtime