August 20, 2004 fun

Wife Objects To Midget Above The Fridge

I’ve spent the last 8 months driving me wife to get rid of a ton of her stuff so that we could use more than the front 2 inches of every drawer, cupboard and closet in the house (of course, it’s her stuff that I find to be extraneous : ). Yesterday, while she was on her 2nd night of working 3 12-hour night shifts in a row, I sent her the following email (yes, that’s just the kind of nerd that I am):

From: Chris Sells []
Sent: Thursday, August 19, 2004 10:51 AM
To: Melissa Sells’
Subject: Moving the shiny stuff above the frig?

Melissa, can I move the stuff above the frig that we never use into the attic?


The shiny” stuff above the fridge is all kinds of silver and pewter that we never, ever use but must keep because someone in one of our families looked at it once a long time ago. Plus, who knows, the Pope could visit to try to convert us back. This was her complete reply after 25 hours of work, 6 hours of commute and 6 hours of sleep over 2 days:


From: Melissa Sells []
Sent: Friday, August 20, 2004 8:27 AM
To: Chris Sells’
Subject: RE: Moving the shiny stuff above the frig?

Is there something that you feel you need to put above the fridge? Are you planning on letting a midget live up there? Because I think that if you are going to let a midget live in the house, they have a right to have a room with a window or something. In that case, you should have them move into the cupboard under the counter in the laundry room and we can knock out a space for a window. It would also be a lot easier for them to get to without having to rig up some sort of ladder, as that would just take up more of your precious space. On the other hand, living above the fridge would give them easy access to the food, and we could have a string with a roll up ladder rigging. Although having easier access to the fridge may make them over eat and they may get wedged up in the space over the fridge, be unable to escape and then we will have to explain why we have that strange odor in the kitchen.


Is there any doubt why I love her? : )