June 14, 2001 fun

The .NET

A parody of Eddy Poe’s The Raven”

Once upon a platform tired, while my code was stranded, mired in a pool of leaky pointers running up the mem’ry load, while I started to debug it, suddenly I screamed Oh f*** it!”, and decided to just chuck it in the hallway guest commode.
Then discovered: managed code.

Ah, distinctly I remember, bugs caused by a private member, and later having to call AddRefs and Releases by the busload, These things, they fill me with regret, time wasted on pointer management, Now, simply Fire And Forget! Oh the freedom newly bestowed!
Thank you, thank you, managed code.

Of course the bloat is sometimes scary, and IL can be kind of hairy, And there’s this Tower of Babel thing that is threat’ning to explode. I mean, Perl and Python and Eiffel and all the scripting langs are just a ball but please, for God’s sake, NOT COBOL! Java, even, but not THAT toad,
running in my managed code.

I traded in my GIT and SCM, my registry (which was kind of dumb) and in return I got C# and the CLR, my new abode. And VS7, though often crashing, as a tool is really smashing. I shan’t bore you by rehashing the gifts .NET has bestowed.
Just be grateful: managed code.

Justin Gehtland [ justin@DEVELOP.COM]